God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now – Part 7

It’s 3:31 PM [04-01] and Iav let the dog out the front on purpoes, and I know that because I was outside by the been out for a long tim,e because I noticed that when I went ito the kitchen and into the back, it wasn’t there like it usually was. I heard it barking at high scool students about an hour before that. When I went into the kitchen about 2o minutes ago, it wasn’t nearby like usual, as in inside the house, but when I went out towards the fence, almost there, I noticed Iav looking at some junk of Isat’s that I had put with other junk and with an angry face. If Iav let it out on purpose, and really believed it would harm others, then he’s deliberately putting lives at risk, including that of those high scool youths, and any mom’s and babies strolling by. Perhaps he is lookingh for an excuse to murder, and now that I’m around, sees me as a convenient fall guy, one to murder while pretending to be the good righteously angry guy as is typical of narcissists. I think he’s a narcissistic psycopath. I heard him last night, when he unintentionally woke me from my futon (this was after seeing what he was doing on the tablet), in Isat’s office 9and I don’t know if he saw me), I heard him say to the German Shep, “Good dog, protect this house,” and then walk back to his room. I noticed too ttwo days ago when during the day, while recording myself cleaning with it, so that if this ever went to court with me having to sue her and Iav, I’d have evidenvce I was indeed cleaning and her not being able to deny that I did any work of significance (and she saw me because I had aimed it at Buttercup when she came near the kitchen and didn’t know it was because Isat was behind her) that in general both Iav and Isat have been avoiding me and have been low key. For example Iav hasn’t used the front door for the past two days, but instead has gone directly into his room where he has a door, and his mom at least once went in with him after getting back from church. I wonder if because of the camera and then me telling her about him getting angry about the dog getting loose, that she thought I might try to record Iav throwing a temper tantrum, and get him in trouble, leaving her all alone with me and knowing she’d be at my mercy then. I also noticed last night that Iav still had solitaire on his laptop, and he was sitting nearby it looking at a tablet in his hand, and I managed to get close enough to see it was some sort of crossword puzzle looking thing on the screen. I expected rather to see naked people or some hit list. It was too far away for me to read anything and I didn’t want to risk him catching me spying on him any further.

The last post by the way was written the day befoer I posted it.

My laptop screen is almost completely unusable now and I still no of no nearby library.

It’s now 4:17 AM, April 2, 2013. Yesterday I learned some interesting and no good things. In the morning Isat got back and saw me going away from her office desk, and she didn’t look happy about it, but she was so worn out I figured that she said nothing about it, and I just claimed to be cleaning, and did take out some of her dirty bowls to clean and a dirty blanket that Buttercup sheds all over. I also found out why this one strip of carpet is always getting dirty, and it’s because it scratches while standing on it, and not just because it walks over it or because the German Shep sleeps or walks on it. Hours later Iav came through the front door, and when he saw me seemed briefly annoyed that I was there with Isat and then turned to her with a smile and told her he’d made a screen door for his door so that, he said, “I can leave my door open when I leave,” but since I was there I think the real reason was so he could spy on me without me realizing it or anyone else walking by. Ironically I had actually spied on him the first time after that day realizing there was indeed a door in front of his room, and I saw the solitaire screen still on his laptop and him holding a new looking tablet, and it had some sort of crossword looking image on the screen as he held it while starring at it.

At night [April 2nd], at about 8, Isat was once again repeating herself about my moving my property, asking if it was really all useful, as in “Are you sure all this stuff you brought here has any use?” ugh. Yeah I just exhausted myself for days and brought it all here because I love trash like you. When I told her I had computers and that they worked, and why I had four (I planned on making a net cafe) she told me, something like, “Well there’s lots of net cafes” (wrong, and like a self-centered technologically backwards technology-hating, reclusive woman would know) and then suggested I sell them during her garage sale (as I’d sell over $1000 worth of tech for her whims) and said, “I need a faster computer”… UGH. I told her I needed a montor because my laptop screen sucked, and she gave no response. She also started asking about my income again, and how I can check it, and once again I told her through the Net, and she said, lied, “Well that Belkin modem is acting funny, it won’t work” AFTER IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALREADY OBVIOUS THAT I’D EXAMINED HER SET UP WHILE SHE WAS AWAY, AND SUSPICIOUS THAT SHE’D KEEP REMOVING THE GATEWAY, evil idiot, and then asked me yet another stupid pretentious question: “Can your laptop get wifi?” She’s asking me that after the first night I came in and me spending time with her figuring out how I could get on her wifi, which she kept claiming she couldn’t remember passwording, and me finally finding out the password and getting on, after which point, after a few days, it mysteriously started stopping on and off when she and the modem weren’t in view, and me then finding out she was messing around with it. Oh and, you’d think she’d allow me to check to see if I have any income to use, but no, instead she’s obsessively staying around her computer, so much so I had to sneak away the VGA cable to her main computer and hook it up to another screen. Right now I’m awkwardly pretyping this post while looking up at it.

I also pointed out my clothes in a hamper, and she asked why I had it outside, and before I could answer told me to put them in my room as well as some LPs that the homeless idiots had plundered from, taking the best with them, leaving me mostly with the worthless ones. And she’s telling me this knowing my room is small, stuffy, still a mess, still filled with what she herself called “junk” and knowing I still don’t have one clean bedsheet to use to sleep, and when she keeps pestering me so that my sleep is poor, and when she’s not had any meat to eat for a long while now, and is fast running out of everything but rice and water and junk I don’t intend to ever eat.

Amd while we were in back, she, as I said, was repeating herself over and over about how to put all my things nice and neat, A VERY HEAVY AND HUGE amount of things at the back of one spot on the wall where I’d already placed many of my bins. And during the time I was telling her why it looked messy, YET AGAIN – can you imagine having conversations with her every day from the day she could talk for 50 years and her still being a brainwashed Mormon and narcissist? No wonder she’s basically friendless) I pointed out some food I’d left on my hamper, telling her I hadn’t moved it because (one of the bags) was spilling out. And when I showed her that, she replied, “Don’t waste it, bring it inside, whatever we can use…” and she cut her sentence short, as if knowing to say, “to eat,” would have been highly and plainly inappropriate, and probably indicating she was out of money. [I forgot to mention that during the day she had gone into her refridge, the one in the kitchen (she has one in her garage that is uselessly always on just to keep cold a few things, talk about “stupid”), and she found a container of my own pancake mix that I’d mixed with water. And I made it clear it was mine. And she went ahead and made it without asking, and ate it, and left me some somewhat burnt ones to eat. Now how is that for an evil person? Clearly she’s a narcissist.] It wasn’t appropriate, because she was no friend, but a clear enemy, a rude one at that, taking advantage of me and when she had a massive church and plenty of relatives to rely on, but instead, this idiot, this narcissist, wants to eat what little I have left, and that I salvaged during a Hellish trial, dumpster diving, while she played helpless to help you and calling it all trash, and slaving me to move it. In fact she also said, “Do it all tonight” while leaving that scene after making the food comment. Sweet woman huh? But before we went back in, she tried to get me to worry more over the mess by saying, “You know, neighbors can see this.” Yeah the one house by the side who strangely has two windows overlooking the backyard and which they rarely look through as far as I can tell. And the never complained about the junk already there, why would they about junk far off in the distance either? Narcissists are drama queens. And afterwards, soon after, she made made a strange slip up: She said to me, nervously, and that was the first time she’d ever sounded nervous to me, “Don’t mess with my brother” and said it in an almost incoherent way as she had said something just before that but cancelled it out rather than completing the sentence, or redid it, which perhaps indicated how nervous she was about this. What the slip was was that she didn’t mention to me that she ever had a brother, and didn’t say who this brother was. But I knew she must have meant Iav after a few second of thinking, because of how she said it, and him being the only hostile person besides her around. I didn’t ask, “But didn’t you say he was your son?” because I didn’t want to upset her knowing how easily angered she was and knowing narcissists hate to have their mistakes pointed out. When inside I instead asked, “Did Iav say he was angry at me for anything?” and she replied, “No, just don’t mess with him, he doesn’t talk much.” And again she pestered me about the bottles she saved, telling me to clean them and put water in them, which I did.

It’s very strange that she won’t let me get on the Net knowing that that’s how I check my income, and it says a lot about Iav’s temper that she went out of her way to tell me not to mess with him. I also noticed tonight, heard for the first time, him getting phone calls, and he never verbally replied to any. I also find it strange that he leaves everyday, sometimes only for a short while. I wonder what he does. Is he going out to eat? Is he doing murder jobs? Does he have food stamps? If so, why eat any of the junk here? He’s a fat guy too yet rarely eats anything much here, so he must be getting food elsewhere, somehow.

It’s 5:05 AM now, should I risk getting on the net while Isat with her hearing problems is sleeping a few feet away? I’d also have to reconnect her VGA cable since my laptop screen is unusable. I really wish I knew if the businessman would help me get a new laptop or not to know if I should get one myself if I have the money.

It’s 6:18 AM now, and I’ve been next to Isat while she’s been sleeping for a few minutes now… eek.