God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now – Part 7

It’s 3:31 PM [04-01] and Iav let the dog out the front on purpoes, and I know that because I was outside by the been out for a long tim,e because I noticed that when I went ito the kitchen and into the back, it wasn’t there like it usually was. I heard it barking at high scool students about an hour before that. When I went into the kitchen about 2o minutes ago, it wasn’t nearby like usual, as in inside the house, but when I went out towards the fence, almost there, I noticed Iav looking at some junk of Isat’s that I had put with other junk and with an angry face. If Iav let it out on purpose, and really believed it would harm others, then he’s deliberately putting lives at risk, including that of those high scool youths, and any mom’s and babies strolling by. Perhaps he is lookingh for an excuse to murder, and now that I’m around, sees me as a convenient fall guy, one to murder while pretending to be the good righteously angry guy as is typical of narcissists. I think he’s a narcissistic psycopath. I heard him last night, when he unintentionally woke me from my futon (this was after seeing what he was doing on the tablet), in Isat’s office 9and I don’t know if he saw me), I heard him say to the German Shep, “Good dog, protect this house,” and then walk back to his room. I noticed too ttwo days ago when during the day, while recording myself cleaning with it, so that if this ever went to court with me having to sue her and Iav, I’d have evidenvce I was indeed cleaning and her not being able to deny that I did any work of significance (and she saw me because I had aimed it at Buttercup when she came near the kitchen and didn’t know it was because Isat was behind her) that in general both Iav and Isat have been avoiding me and have been low key. For example Iav hasn’t used the front door for the past two days, but instead has gone directly into his room where he has a door, and his mom at least once went in with him after getting back from church. I wonder if because of the camera and then me telling her about him getting angry about the dog getting loose, that she thought I might try to record Iav throwing a temper tantrum, and get him in trouble, leaving her all alone with me and knowing she’d be at my mercy then. I also noticed last night that Iav still had solitaire on his laptop, and he was sitting nearby it looking at a tablet in his hand, and I managed to get close enough to see it was some sort of crossword puzzle looking thing on the screen. I expected rather to see naked people or some hit list. It was too far away for me to read anything and I didn’t want to risk him catching me spying on him any further.

The last post by the way was written the day befoer I posted it.

My laptop screen is almost completely unusable now and I still no of no nearby library.

It’s now 4:17 AM, April 2, 2013. Yesterday I learned some interesting and no good things. In the morning Isat got back and saw me going away from her office desk, and she didn’t look happy about it, but she was so worn out I figured that she said nothing about it, and I just claimed to be cleaning, and did take out some of her dirty bowls to clean and a dirty blanket that Buttercup sheds all over. I also found out why this one strip of carpet is always getting dirty, and it’s because it scratches while standing on it, and not just because it walks over it or because the German Shep sleeps or walks on it. Hours later Iav came through the front door, and when he saw me seemed briefly annoyed that I was there with Isat and then turned to her with a smile and told her he’d made a screen door for his door so that, he said, “I can leave my door open when I leave,” but since I was there I think the real reason was so he could spy on me without me realizing it or anyone else walking by. Ironically I had actually spied on him the first time after that day realizing there was indeed a door in front of his room, and I saw the solitaire screen still on his laptop and him holding a new looking tablet, and it had some sort of crossword looking image on the screen as he held it while starring at it.

At night [April 2nd], at about 8, Isat was once again repeating herself about my moving my property, asking if it was really all useful, as in “Are you sure all this stuff you brought here has any use?” ugh. Yeah I just exhausted myself for days and brought it all here because I love trash like you. When I told her I had computers and that they worked, and why I had four (I planned on making a net cafe) she told me, something like, “Well there’s lots of net cafes” (wrong, and like a self-centered technologically backwards technology-hating, reclusive woman would know) and then suggested I sell them during her garage sale (as I’d sell over $1000 worth of tech for her whims) and said, “I need a faster computer”… UGH. I told her I needed a montor because my laptop screen sucked, and she gave no response. She also started asking about my income again, and how I can check it, and once again I told her through the Net, and she said, lied, “Well that Belkin modem is acting funny, it won’t work” AFTER IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALREADY OBVIOUS THAT I’D EXAMINED HER SET UP WHILE SHE WAS AWAY, AND SUSPICIOUS THAT SHE’D KEEP REMOVING THE GATEWAY, evil idiot, and then asked me yet another stupid pretentious question: “Can your laptop get wifi?” She’s asking me that after the first night I came in and me spending time with her figuring out how I could get on her wifi, which she kept claiming she couldn’t remember passwording, and me finally finding out the password and getting on, after which point, after a few days, it mysteriously started stopping on and off when she and the modem weren’t in view, and me then finding out she was messing around with it. Oh and, you’d think she’d allow me to check to see if I have any income to use, but no, instead she’s obsessively staying around her computer, so much so I had to sneak away the VGA cable to her main computer and hook it up to another screen. Right now I’m awkwardly pretyping this post while looking up at it.

I also pointed out my clothes in a hamper, and she asked why I had it outside, and before I could answer told me to put them in my room as well as some LPs that the homeless idiots had plundered from, taking the best with them, leaving me mostly with the worthless ones. And she’s telling me this knowing my room is small, stuffy, still a mess, still filled with what she herself called “junk” and knowing I still don’t have one clean bedsheet to use to sleep, and when she keeps pestering me so that my sleep is poor, and when she’s not had any meat to eat for a long while now, and is fast running out of everything but rice and water and junk I don’t intend to ever eat.

Amd while we were in back, she, as I said, was repeating herself over and over about how to put all my things nice and neat, A VERY HEAVY AND HUGE amount of things at the back of one spot on the wall where I’d already placed many of my bins. And during the time I was telling her why it looked messy, YET AGAIN – can you imagine having conversations with her every day from the day she could talk for 50 years and her still being a brainwashed Mormon and narcissist? No wonder she’s basically friendless) I pointed out some food I’d left on my hamper, telling her I hadn’t moved it because (one of the bags) was spilling out. And when I showed her that, she replied, “Don’t waste it, bring it inside, whatever we can use…” and she cut her sentence short, as if knowing to say, “to eat,” would have been highly and plainly inappropriate, and probably indicating she was out of money. [I forgot to mention that during the day she had gone into her refridge, the one in the kitchen (she has one in her garage that is uselessly always on just to keep cold a few things, talk about “stupid”), and she found a container of my own pancake mix that I’d mixed with water. And I made it clear it was mine. And she went ahead and made it without asking, and ate it, and left me some somewhat burnt ones to eat. Now how is that for an evil person? Clearly she’s a narcissist.] It wasn’t appropriate, because she was no friend, but a clear enemy, a rude one at that, taking advantage of me and when she had a massive church and plenty of relatives to rely on, but instead, this idiot, this narcissist, wants to eat what little I have left, and that I salvaged during a Hellish trial, dumpster diving, while she played helpless to help you and calling it all trash, and slaving me to move it. In fact she also said, “Do it all tonight” while leaving that scene after making the food comment. Sweet woman huh? But before we went back in, she tried to get me to worry more over the mess by saying, “You know, neighbors can see this.” Yeah the one house by the side who strangely has two windows overlooking the backyard and which they rarely look through as far as I can tell. And the never complained about the junk already there, why would they about junk far off in the distance either? Narcissists are drama queens. And afterwards, soon after, she made made a strange slip up: She said to me, nervously, and that was the first time she’d ever sounded nervous to me, “Don’t mess with my brother” and said it in an almost incoherent way as she had said something just before that but cancelled it out rather than completing the sentence, or redid it, which perhaps indicated how nervous she was about this. What the slip was was that she didn’t mention to me that she ever had a brother, and didn’t say who this brother was. But I knew she must have meant Iav after a few second of thinking, because of how she said it, and him being the only hostile person besides her around. I didn’t ask, “But didn’t you say he was your son?” because I didn’t want to upset her knowing how easily angered she was and knowing narcissists hate to have their mistakes pointed out. When inside I instead asked, “Did Iav say he was angry at me for anything?” and she replied, “No, just don’t mess with him, he doesn’t talk much.” And again she pestered me about the bottles she saved, telling me to clean them and put water in them, which I did.

It’s very strange that she won’t let me get on the Net knowing that that’s how I check my income, and it says a lot about Iav’s temper that she went out of her way to tell me not to mess with him. I also noticed tonight, heard for the first time, him getting phone calls, and he never verbally replied to any. I also find it strange that he leaves everyday, sometimes only for a short while. I wonder what he does. Is he going out to eat? Is he doing murder jobs? Does he have food stamps? If so, why eat any of the junk here? He’s a fat guy too yet rarely eats anything much here, so he must be getting food elsewhere, somehow.

It’s 5:05 AM now, should I risk getting on the net while Isat with her hearing problems is sleeping a few feet away? I’d also have to reconnect her VGA cable since my laptop screen is unusable. I really wish I knew if the businessman would help me get a new laptop or not to know if I should get one myself if I have the money.

It’s 6:18 AM now, and I’ve been next to Isat while she’s been sleeping for a few minutes now… eek.

God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now – Part 6

It’s now 11:03 PM. I forgot to mention that when Iav told me not to let the dog out after getting out of the car the first time, he had also said, “I saw you go out there somewhere,” to indicate he’d been watching me, and as if leaving was a no no. It reminded me of when Isat said to me, over a week ago, “We’ll let you go when you go on your gold exploration trip,” as if now I was their slave and could only do what they told me to. Isat’s husband was there when she said that, and showed no sign of objection, but perhaps though he was hiding his feelings, and as I mentioned earlier, had gone off to his home to talk to his chief about Isat’s bad behavior, and perhaps Iav’s too, to tell him that neither were good Mormons and to anull the marriage so that he could be linked with another family for all eternity, as Mormons believe will happen when they die. I can’t blame him for not wanting to be the eternal dad of a psychopathic son and creepy, putrid, heartless, self centered wife.

Since all my property is in the back nearly, and Isat has gone off who knows where (and when I looked in her office after she had been gone for some time, I noticed as I thought would be the case, the modem missing again. Even before she had expressed anger over me supposedly touching her computer stuff, she’d taken the modem away, and this was more than a week ago, so this wasn’t anything new. And if I didn’t mention it already, she never flinched or indicated I was wrong when I told her I’d gone outside to use the Net because I thought she didn’t want me using it. Talk about “guilt by silence.” Oh and I got a message from a PETAn, wanting to know where and who this person was, as in the owner of the dogs (it’s two different owners). And as I thought, and even said in my first message to them, that they’d show more concern for the dogs then me. Disgusted. Whoever replied said, “We take confidentiality very seriously.” Just not helping me escape this situation safely as I’d asked. Why no, “Yes, we can provide a temporary residence for you and the money you’ll need to survive well” and so on as I asked? If PETA truly cared about these dogs, they’d show equal amount of concern for me, but no, only, “We’ll keep who you are a secret” as if coming for endangered or abused dogs isn’t going to raise suspicion right away with Isat or Iav? Ugh. Maybe the guy who replied was a narcissist too. Why am I never leaving near some helpful and decent Christian, or meeting them at least? And as the righteous Job thousands of years ago asked, “Why do the wicked prosper ” Of course, as anyone can see, usually the wicked prosper at a costly price, and are often more unhappy than happy and malcontents, and die in poverty or misery. One day, one day, I’ll see all my enemies bowing before God, and all of them will be God’s enemies, and at exactly the best time, they will thrown away in Darkness, to suffer, tormented by their own memories, guilt and shame, forever. It’s 11:20 PM.

It’s now 4:58 AM, didn’t get to listen to Coast to Coast AM, and didn’t sleep. I did some investigating however and found out Isat has a huge electric bill, it was over $900, no wonder to me then she told me not to use hot water to wash anything. And I found out who her son, Iav works for, the company at least, and saw an uncashed check for not much over $600. Apparently he gives all his money over to his mom Isat. Much later I decided to investigate the papers I left in her daughter’s room, and was looking for the name of her daughter and a number, and discovered some odd and interesting things in the digging. Before that, while lying on my bed for a while, I finally fully realized why God programmed everyone to sleep, what it symbolizes.

God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now – Part 5

Right now it’s 5:48 PM and I apparently successfully escaped again. I’m having to retype this entry because my screen, being so messed up, couldn’t see what I was doing hardly when I was trying to copy the entry from the text file it was in and post it, and accidentally exited it instead.

What happened today in the morning was this:

Isat knocked on my door, expressing her anger over me still not having moved all my property in back, and said, the usual, “I don’t want to repeat myself,” and more, like, “I’ll throw this out myself if I have to, and you can go back to where you came from” and yelled, when I kept saying “I know,” and “You don’t have to repeat” and “I was injured, that’s why I stopped, “My children don’t even do this!” whatever that meant. It didn’t even make sense and it was a lie because her daughter’s room, when I first moved in, as I documented with my camera, was a major mess and would be considered condemnable because of the dust, mold, animal skin and hair everywhere and on top of all that, being stuffy to make it hard to move about and keep clean. Before going outside and yelling at me , I had told her I was injured and that’s why I stopped, and then tried to figure out where my shoes were, and she said they were behind her office desk, and I felt that I’d made a huge blunder there. I made up a lie and said it was because “Buttercup had gone in there” meaning I’d went to tend to her there since she has me caring for it. But she said, “What were you doing with my computer?” and I denied doing anything with it, and then said, “Didn’t you see me sleeping on the bed?” and she replied, :Who told you to bring it in there?”as if I had no permission, but that was a lie of hers since she approved of it days before but insisted I cleaned it (even though I had and it clearly was clean and I’d even used hospital grade disinfectant that I’d bought to clean it). But I told another lie and said it was because my shoes smelled bad and was trying to get them away from me while I slept on that futon, and she then said, “Put your shoes outside nextime, and then, as I said, she went outside to continue insulting me, and at one point saying, “I don’t need the headache.” Iav as usual wasn’t around to hear any of this, and I now know what kind of personality he has, so even if he had I know he would be happy about it, which I’ll explain now.

About 2 hours ago, Iav had went to the refridgerator looking for food, and not finding any went back to his room, then soon drove off. I continued to move my things carefully and slowly since now three wheels on my garden cart were popped and both of my forearm muscles were painfully seizing from overuse, and I didn’t want my left knee dislocating again. I also cleaned the kitchen very well, including the dishes and cutlery he used. He never lifts a finger to clean outside his room, except his own clothes, which he hasn’t removed from the washer for at least two days now. A little while later Iav drove off, and as usual the German Shep followed me around, and out the back fence. I didn’t like this in general because it kept getting in my way, distracting me into playing with it, stepping on my rocks and it was getting very annoying. I wasn’t afraid of it attacking anyone because when I’d accidentally let it escape, I’d see it was friendly with everyone. One time some days ago it followed me to the end of the street I’m on, and to my suprirse didn’t bark at all when an elderly man walked by me. The only aggravating thing was that he wouldn’t stay still when I told him too, and would walk in the street. So, after Iav was gone for maybe 30 minutes, to my horror the dog came out to greet him, horror because if I hadn’t written about this already, Iav had the day before, when coming into the kitchen, said to me,

“Hey, you” then paused as if afraid he’d be heard by a guy outside working on the family care, or hating to talk in general, and then said, “Don’t let that dog outside, lock the fence” and I think something about him not liking it running about. It didn’t do that though, it would just sit on the lawn after a while, he merely hated it, and I knew that, because days ago, maybe a week ago, I watched him walk by it and shake his head at it as it sat in the main entrance hall, and he shook his head at it, as if it were an annoyance, though the dog was doing nothing wrong. I’ve watched Iav walk it out twice, my guess is he hated it because it would tug to go where it wanted, just like it had done to me when I walked it back to the house when it followed me to the end of the street.

But so, Iav got back after doing I don’t know what, he didn’t seem to have any bag of food in his hand, and with an upset look came out the car, and said, “Hey, asshole,” and I then turned on my recorder and he came around the car and said something that was like this, “I told you not to let that dog out,” and I said, “I’m sorry” in a genuine manner, and I was, and that made him more upset, and he kept walking towards me and I kept walking back, and he appeared to want to hit me from his demeanor, and he said, something and I said sorry again, and said to me, “I don’t want to hear that ‘sorry’ shit” and he paused to stare at me angrily, and then turned around and said,”If that dog were to hurt anyone, mmmh” then said, “Or if were to get lost… I’ll hang your ass in a tree.” Now here is where it got to the point where I could tell he was trying to find an opportunity to murder me. About 30 minutes later (at least in my time disoriented mind). I could hear Iav go out some door, and it sounded like a gate slammed a little. I don’t know if there’s an outside door in his room or not because it didn’t sound like the main gate, but that’s what I heard, a gate slam and I looked to see if he had driven off, but I saw the family car was still there. So then I started to go outside to again move my things and then I heard the car drive off off and while I was at the side of the house organizing and moving my things again, the dog came to the fence and I was shocked, because I had made sure he was inside and couldn’t get out by fully closing the back door. So I went to the back and saw it had been opened and the stool that is always there was placed where Isat had asked me to put it so that it wouldn’t close: between it and the other half of the door that was closed. I thought though that the dog had cleverly gotten out since I’d seen it use it’s nose and paw to grab the side of the door, and thought this time it turned the knob somehow, especially since I’d seen a clever horse on CNN opening doors. So I went to Isat to ask to keep the back door closed to keep the dog inside, because Iav had gotten mad over me supposedly letting the dog loose, and she gave me permission and didn’t say anything about Iav. I also told her about the dog getting out, not thinking for sure it was Isat doing that and not thinking Iav would do that, and she said, “Yes, he can do that.” But then I wondered after leaving her and Iav came back after a short while, and then went back to Isat and asked if she’d told Iav to open the door and put the stool there where it was, and she replied, “We do that” and something else related to it. Then I went away again and tended to my property and went in my room a little, fearing Iav would go in and do something to what I had there. Instead he went out again, and I went to the front door to make sure the German Shep wouldn’t leave, and as I held him still, and was in front of the door, on the inside, watched as the family car passed in front of it going to the right, and there was Iav in it, with his head turned towards me with a hateful look. I then went to tend to my property again he returned after a short while, and I went back inside… (that’s odd, this woman I met near the time I moved in, who I saw taking pictures of “common” things is outside again, and I heard “take a picture” and turned and saw an old woman on the driveway of that house and the same woman I’d met on the sidewalk moving her camera about, and it seemed to be on me when I first looked, and the old woman said, “Why?” and then I saw an old man, and all three went back out of view back towards that house, it’s 6:24 PM by the way.) As I was saying, I went inside and went to the choir room when I saw Iav doing something int he kitchen, to see if I could record him saying anything bad to me. And after going into the choir room (it’s to the left of the main door and only separated from the kitchen by cabinets and the main hallway) and as I organized more sheet music (Isat ordered me to organize a massive amount of it that was scattered about that room, with much of the music disorganized). I then saw him go to the back door to the back door which I’d again fully closed. I suspected he’d gone to look at the fence to see if I’d left it open, and he came in, and I didn’t know it but he’d put the stool back to keep the door open, and then soon after went to his room. So there was my confirmation he was the one who kept it open, and clearly to me, looking for an opportunity to harm me. I wonder now if he, hating the dog, and no doubt many others, maybe even his own mom, and knowing he hates me, and him being about 42 it appears, gray-haired, having no friends as far as I can tell, and raised to be a psychopath, or at least a very hostile person, will have one of those murderous rages that are common these days, and I end up dead. He’s a typical hypocrite, the type that ignores the suffering of others, won’t lift a finger to help, and places blame on everyone else for anything bad that happens even if it’s clear they are responsible in some direct way. After his insulting and threatening me in front of the garage, I ended up breaking some prized glassware in my distraction over his severe threat. Yet more property destroyed no thanks to hateful people, when will such evil end? My hope is that one day after Jesus returns, he’ll give me back all the rocks I found and restore them or make them better than they were before, so that I can display them to his glory in some spectacular museum (with his name on it, or God’s). That would be so Isatsfying. Some might say, “Why not then just leave all those rocks behind?” My answer is that God has commanded us all to work and be productive with that work, and so I’m not going to sit and do nothing and let all that work go to waste. That same answer by the way is appropriate for non-destiny believing Christians and anti-Calvinists who love to use the “Why not just sit and do nothing?” attack, which is hypocritical, since the belief of those Christians is that God will forgive them over and over and over to no end so long as they are truly sorry and that they can be truly sorry always at some time in the future, and even escape Hell. And so I ask them, “Why then don’t you just do whatever you want, or sit and do nothing, since at some point, God will always forgive you and let you back into Heaven, till you make yourself corrupt again before him there?” There’s no logical answer for that one. For all the true Christians who read this, please help me if you can rather than simply praying for me. My email is in of my posts, just do a find search for the @ sign. If any of this post has spelling mistakes or odd errors in continuity, remember, I can barely see on my laptop and there’s these colored and white horizontal lines, and image doubling everywhere, and other display errors, and on top of that, the display consistency is very unstable.

God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now, Part 4

Yesterday, at about 7:30 PM, I went into Yati’s office to ask for her phone number again (so I could post on ad requesting help to make a documentary about the Hell I’ve been going through and my future projects) and what do I find but my giant mormon Bible on a table in front of her desk which formerly had been along the side with the rest of my property. When I ask if it was mine, she replied, “Oh, I thought that was my son’s.” Yeah, your son who never talks about Mormonism and never goes to church and talks like a wordly person, has put his Mormon bible with my property. So then she says, “Oh that’s yours?” and I explain a little how I got it and she genuinely and enthusiastically tells me I should read it. So, now, she’s crossed the line with me at least five times by one: berating me, two: in front of her husband, three: violating my privacy four: messing with my property: five: eating my food. But it doesn’t stop there. After I go out and buy some bins to organize my property, and then return and clean right away and then try to sleep, and not being able to, get up around 4 AM perhaps, not having slept because of a stuff nose and probably due to allegies and the huge amount of dust in her house, I then ponder things and plan what to do. Then at about 5 AM I go to drink something, and I saw Yati was once again boiling salmon for the dogs and she’s down to one bag now. Why bother with dog food that is supposed to contain the omega oils and put in salmon on top of it? But anyways I’m up and about and about to go out to use the Internet to post and find, to my embarassment, that she’s gone through my books and rearranged them and placed two book covers where everyone can see them by the stack of books she rearranged. One on the bottom of the first book cover says “BEER” on top of the title, and the other says something like, “Cannabis Growing Guide”. Can anyone say “YOU STUPID BITCH LEAVE MY PROPERTY ALONE”? What was so disgusting about it as that this is after I had told her the day before, when I found my Bible with her, that certain homeless people had been stealing from me (I had told her this story before too) and one had taken my property, then presented it to me and started making a commentary about it, and I told her, “I felt so violated” and how then one of them began yelling at me. I noticed she looked a bit guilt when I said that (and if truly guilty, probably because as I said earlier she had yelled at me too, and it was recent) and about that he shook her head over that and said, “Why are they such animals?” Then she comes out the back after messing with the salmon she boiled, where I am, which is where the main bulk of my property at the side of her house, and once again she’s repeating herself, telling me that it needs to be cleaned up and againa wrongly referring to certain things as trash and me repeating it’s not trash and that it can’t be seen like that and “looking like a homeless house”. Yeah, that really made sense. And she kept repeating and repeating and I kept saying “I know”, and IN THE DARK, she says, “Don’t say ‘I know’ just do it” and like she has nothing that she should “just do”. Then I ask if she was the one that rearranged my books and put the covers that said such and such where they were, and she said, “What?” with a look of confusion and irritation, as if she’s the one that should be irritated and says, “Carrabis what?” or something like that. And when I show her she replies, “Oh I thought those were my books.” Ugh.

10:50 AM, a few minutes ago Yati just repeated herself again, but only after repeatedly knocking on my door and calling me, knowing I hadn’t, couldn’t or barely slept after working hard yet again, to, clean up what she said was “trash to me”, as in my property. She said, “I saw how your apartment was,” once again ignoring that I said it had been broken into three times and trashed repeatedly and that I’d been rushed out of it, and worst: hypocritically ignoring her hoarding and her neglect of her own house and “children”, ignoring that she herself is exhausting me by not giving me a set schedule, overfeeding her dogs, not keeping them outside and by knowingly forcing me to take long walks outside just to get in the Internet. I’m truly so exhausted I was shaking a little after she woke me up. And it truly is amazing that she is getting upset over this “trash” and not her own clear trashing over her own house and neglect of not just the dogs but the rest of her family by subjecting them to her gross negligence. And why did she say, “I saw how your apartment was when” when she’s clearly seen me, even under great exhaustion, with next to no sleep in all the time I’ve been here, over two weeks, turn her dust, dander and hair infested, black mold ridden, hoarder-like house into much cleaner and much more beautiful one and when I showed her the rocks I collected were not trash and she acknowledged it, even by asking if she could keep one of the ones I gave her, and saying, “I love it” after yelling at me to clean her kitchen again and watch it constantly, rather than tend to organizing my own property till it wasn’t a mess!? And if she knows I just recently brought my own property back, what she’s called a lot and knows was very heavy, and was rushed to do it, how can she pretend that I’ve been messy in anyway on purpose? So now, Yati has made herself living trash to me. I thought she was a decent person for a narcissist, but now I see, and from her own admission of having done was not good to her own children by being what’s known as a “clean freak”, is not even that.

It’s 11:42 AM, and after having jested a little in my mind hours ago that Yati had made a slave of me, or rather near-slave, it’s occurred to me few minutes ago while documenting some of Yati’s mess that I hadn’t got to cleaning up yet, that she literally has made a slave of me through entrapment, taking advantage of my desperation to escape my horrible situation, like the homeless bullies that kept bullying me in the desert, harassing, stealing from and stalking me, and Brenda’s bullying and her trashing my property and my desire to safeguard mine and sue her. Now I see why her behavior was contradictory about helping me to save my property: she didn’t want me “ruining” her decor and spending any time moving, organizing or cleaning much of my own things, or at all, but rather hers only. It’s ironic that Yati loves one of the crystal clusters I gave her, and had told her more than once how crazy Brenda was for not befriending me rather than being a friend due to the large amount of valuable rocks I had, and had even shown Yati evidence of that with that crystal cluster, and Yati acknowledging Brenda was wrong for that, and yet then a few minutes ago Yati saying that all my property was trash to her. I understand fully now why she’s cut me off from the Internet and has hardly let me use her phone, and keeps pretending that something is wrong with it, and shows no enthusiasm hardly for getting her spare smart phone fixed or replaced, or getting a land line. It’s just like when my own parents cut me off from my relatives so that I couldn’t call them for help to stop my parent from abusing me, and when my dad wouldn’t help me to get a phone when he kicked me out, and would abandon me and pretend my memory was wrong when I brought up the abuse he put me through and him neglecting me as a child all the way till now. Truly Yati is a narcissist: so self-centered, that she can hardly consistently think rationally or change her obsessive thoughts.

It’s 12:02 PM, I’ve been thinking of contacting PETA for help since the ACLU hasn’t responded to me, and whenever I present to them problems such as these, they tell me they can’t help me, and have once or twice said it’s because they will only help people with problems that are affecting others. I really don’t see how my complaints about police harassment, stalking, and apartment staff and landlords neglecting the property so that things like cold and hot water don’t work as they should for a long time, or them not getting rid of roach infestations in a reasonable amount of time, and them harassing and retaliating against tenants for complaining against that, even going so far as in my case to make things up about me and trashing my property, doesn’t affect many others, or doesn’t imply that it might also be happening to many others. Don’t police interact with huge numbers of people? Don’t apartment landlords and staff?

It’s 12:35 PM, and about 5 minutes ago, as I knew would happen, I collapsed in severe pain from some sort of pain near my spine, after I had picked up the last clump of dog feces. And of course, no one saw, but a stranger did come into the house about 1 minute after it happened, asking if anyone was there. Why couldn’t he have come into the backyard two minutes earlier, sigh? Not that I’ve never had witnesses to such attacks, just not recently. That’s what happens to me if I don’t crack my spine enough, walk for too long, especially on flat ground and with poor to no arch support, carry things on my back for too long and of a certain weight, and run around carrying heavy loads, or constantly. I wasn’t working like this out in the desert or at my apartment, that’s for sure. And no doubt to me, walking on a knee that keeps dislocating, barely getting any sleep, not having used any psoriasis shampoo for a month, constantly wanting to itch my scalp, and Yati now stressing me out with her harassment and bullying, so much so that I had trouble figuring out how to eat a few minutes ago, isn’t helping to prevent such attacks.

I am so miserable right now. Saying, “It could be worse,” hardly applies in this situation, because even though it could, my entire life I’ve been going through such hell from narcissists, repeatedly being bullied and sabotaged by them, so it’s not as if I haven’t had a flood of extreme suffering. I have PTSD because of all this.

It’s horrible that these people aren’t kept out of the general population to keep them from wrecking everyone’s lives in various ways. They are life-wreckers, and emotionally destructive, abusers of the mind, relentless bullies. They are everywhere.

4:37 PM: I feel so trapped.

 

God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now, Part 3

Yesterday, at about 7:30 PM, I went into Yati’s office to ask for her phone number again (so I could post on ad requesting help to make a documentary about the Hell I’ve been going through and my future projects) and what do I find but my giant mormon Bible on a table in front of her desk which formerly had been along the side with the rest of my property. When I ask if it was mine, she replied, “Oh, I thought that was my son’s.” Yeah, your son who never talks about Mormonism and never goes to church and talks like a wordly person, has put his Mormon bible with my property. So then she says, “Oh that’s yours?” and I explain a little how I got it and she genuinely and enthusiastically tells me I should read it. So, now, she’s crossed the line with me at least five times by one: berating me, two: in front of her husband, three: violating my privacy four: messing with my property: five: eating my food. But it doesn’t stop there. After I go out and buy some bins to organize my property, and then return and clean right away and then try to sleep, and not being able to, get up around 4 AM perhaps, not having slept because of a stuff nose and probably due to allegies and the huge amount of dust in her house, I then ponder things and plan what to do. Then at about 5 AM I go to drink something, and I saw Yati was once again boiling salmon for the dogs and she’s down to one bag now. Why bother with dog food that is supposed to contain the omega oils and put in salmon on top of it? But anyways I’m up and about and about to go out to use the Internet to post and find, to my embarassment, that she’s gone through my books and rearranged them and placed two book covers where everyone can see them by the stack of books she rearranged. One on the bottom of the first book cover says “BEER” on top of the title, and the other says something like, “Cannabis Growing Guide”. Can anyone say “YOU STUPID BITCH LEAVE MY PROPERTY ALONE”? What was so disgusting about it as that this is after I had told her the day before, when I found my Bible with her, that certain homeless people had been stealing from me (I had told her this story before too) and one had taken my property, then presented it to me and started making a commentary about it, and I told her, “I felt so violated” and how then one of them began yelling at me. I noticed she looked a bit guilt when I said that (and if truly guilty, probably because as I said earlier she had yelled at me too, and it was recent) and about that he shook her head over that and said, “Why are they such animals?” Then she comes out the back after messing with the salmon she boiled, where I am, which is where the main bulk of my property at the side of her house, and once again she’s repeating herself, telling me that it needs to be cleaned up and again wrongly referring to certain things as trash and me repeating it’s not trash and that it can’t be seen like that and “looking like a homeless house”. Yeah, that really made sense. And she kept repeating and repeating and I kept saying “I know”, and IN THE DARK, she says, “Don’t say ‘I know’ just do it” and like she has nothing that she should “just do”. Then I asked if she was the one who rearranged my books and put the covers that said such and such where they were, and she said, “What?” with a look of confusion and irritation, as if she’s the one that should be irritated and says, “Carrabis what?” or something like that. And when I show her she replies, “Oh I thought those were my books.” Ugh.