Home » My personal life » God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now, Part 4

God, I’m Under A Yet Another Narcissist, Again – My Life As of Now, Part 4

Yesterday, at about 7:30 PM, I went into Yati’s office to ask for her phone number again (so I could post on ad requesting help to make a documentary about the Hell I’ve been going through and my future projects) and what do I find but my giant mormon Bible on a table in front of her desk which formerly had been along the side with the rest of my property. When I ask if it was mine, she replied, “Oh, I thought that was my son’s.” Yeah, your son who never talks about Mormonism and never goes to church and talks like a wordly person, has put his Mormon bible with my property. So then she says, “Oh that’s yours?” and I explain a little how I got it and she genuinely and enthusiastically tells me I should read it. So, now, she’s crossed the line with me at least five times by one: berating me, two: in front of her husband, three: violating my privacy four: messing with my property: five: eating my food. But it doesn’t stop there. After I go out and buy some bins to organize my property, and then return and clean right away and then try to sleep, and not being able to, get up around 4 AM perhaps, not having slept because of a stuff nose and probably due to allegies and the huge amount of dust in her house, I then ponder things and plan what to do. Then at about 5 AM I go to drink something, and I saw Yati was once again boiling salmon for the dogs and she’s down to one bag now. Why bother with dog food that is supposed to contain the omega oils and put in salmon on top of it? But anyways I’m up and about and about to go out to use the Internet to post and find, to my embarassment, that she’s gone through my books and rearranged them and placed two book covers where everyone can see them by the stack of books she rearranged. One on the bottom of the first book cover says “BEER” on top of the title, and the other says something like, “Cannabis Growing Guide”. Can anyone say “YOU STUPID BITCH LEAVE MY PROPERTY ALONE”? What was so disgusting about it as that this is after I had told her the day before, when I found my Bible with her, that certain homeless people had been stealing from me (I had told her this story before too) and one had taken my property, then presented it to me and started making a commentary about it, and I told her, “I felt so violated” and how then one of them began yelling at me. I noticed she looked a bit guilt when I said that (and if truly guilty, probably because as I said earlier she had yelled at me too, and it was recent) and about that he shook her head over that and said, “Why are they such animals?” Then she comes out the back after messing with the salmon she boiled, where I am, which is where the main bulk of my property at the side of her house, and once again she’s repeating herself, telling me that it needs to be cleaned up and againa wrongly referring to certain things as trash and me repeating it’s not trash and that it can’t be seen like that and “looking like a homeless house”. Yeah, that really made sense. And she kept repeating and repeating and I kept saying “I know”, and IN THE DARK, she says, “Don’t say ‘I know’ just do it” and like she has nothing that she should “just do”. Then I ask if she was the one that rearranged my books and put the covers that said such and such where they were, and she said, “What?” with a look of confusion and irritation, as if she’s the one that should be irritated and says, “Carrabis what?” or something like that. And when I show her she replies, “Oh I thought those were my books.” Ugh.

10:50 AM, a few minutes ago Yati just repeated herself again, but only after repeatedly knocking on my door and calling me, knowing I hadn’t, couldn’t or barely slept after working hard yet again, to, clean up what she said was “trash to me”, as in my property. She said, “I saw how your apartment was,” once again ignoring that I said it had been broken into three times and trashed repeatedly and that I’d been rushed out of it, and worst: hypocritically ignoring her hoarding and her neglect of her own house and “children”, ignoring that she herself is exhausting me by not giving me a set schedule, overfeeding her dogs, not keeping them outside and by knowingly forcing me to take long walks outside just to get in the Internet. I’m truly so exhausted I was shaking a little after she woke me up. And it truly is amazing that she is getting upset over this “trash” and not her own clear trashing over her own house and neglect of not just the dogs but the rest of her family by subjecting them to her gross negligence. And why did she say, “I saw how your apartment was when” when she’s clearly seen me, even under great exhaustion, with next to no sleep in all the time I’ve been here, over two weeks, turn her dust, dander and hair infested, black mold ridden, hoarder-like house into much cleaner and much more beautiful one and when I showed her the rocks I collected were not trash and she acknowledged it, even by asking if she could keep one of the ones I gave her, and saying, “I love it” after yelling at me to clean her kitchen again and watch it constantly, rather than tend to organizing my own property till it wasn’t a mess!? And if she knows I just recently brought my own property back, what she’s called a lot and knows was very heavy, and was rushed to do it, how can she pretend that I’ve been messy in anyway on purpose? So now, Yati has made herself living trash to me. I thought she was a decent person for a narcissist, but now I see, and from her own admission of having done was not good to her own children by being what’s known as a “clean freak”, is not even that.

It’s 11:42 AM, and after having jested a little in my mind hours ago that Yati had made a slave of me, or rather near-slave, it’s occurred to me few minutes ago while documenting some of Yati’s mess that I hadn’t got to cleaning up yet, that she literally has made a slave of me through entrapment, taking advantage of my desperation to escape my horrible situation, like the homeless bullies that kept bullying me in the desert, harassing, stealing from and stalking me, and Brenda’s bullying and her trashing my property and my desire to safeguard mine and sue her. Now I see why her behavior was contradictory about helping me to save my property: she didn’t want me “ruining” her decor and spending any time moving, organizing or cleaning much of my own things, or at all, but rather hers only. It’s ironic that Yati loves one of the crystal clusters I gave her, and had told her more than once how crazy Brenda was for not befriending me rather than being a friend due to the large amount of valuable rocks I had, and had even shown Yati evidence of that with that crystal cluster, and Yati acknowledging Brenda was wrong for that, and yet then a few minutes ago Yati saying that all my property was trash to her. I understand fully now why she’s cut me off from the Internet and has hardly let me use her phone, and keeps pretending that something is wrong with it, and shows no enthusiasm hardly for getting her spare smart phone fixed or replaced, or getting a land line. It’s just like when my own parents cut me off from my relatives so that I couldn’t call them for help to stop my parent from abusing me, and when my dad wouldn’t help me to get a phone when he kicked me out, and would abandon me and pretend my memory was wrong when I brought up the abuse he put me through and him neglecting me as a child all the way till now. Truly Yati is a narcissist: so self-centered, that she can hardly consistently think rationally or change her obsessive thoughts.

It’s 12:02 PM, I’ve been thinking of contacting PETA for help since the ACLU hasn’t responded to me, and whenever I present to them problems such as these, they tell me they can’t help me, and have once or twice said it’s because they will only help people with problems that are affecting others. I really don’t see how my complaints about police harassment, stalking, and apartment staff and landlords neglecting the property so that things like cold and hot water don’t work as they should for a long time, or them not getting rid of roach infestations in a reasonable amount of time, and them harassing and retaliating against tenants for complaining against that, even going so far as in my case to make things up about me and trashing my property, doesn’t affect many others, or doesn’t imply that it might also be happening to many others. Don’t police interact with huge numbers of people? Don’t apartment landlords and staff?

It’s 12:35 PM, and about 5 minutes ago, as I knew would happen, I collapsed in severe pain from some sort of pain near my spine, after I had picked up the last clump of dog feces. And of course, no one saw, but a stranger did come into the house about 1 minute after it happened, asking if anyone was there. Why couldn’t he have come into the backyard two minutes earlier, sigh? Not that I’ve never had witnesses to such attacks, just not recently. That’s what happens to me if I don’t crack my spine enough, walk for too long, especially on flat ground and with poor to no arch support, carry things on my back for too long and of a certain weight, and run around carrying heavy loads, or constantly. I wasn’t working like this out in the desert or at my apartment, that’s for sure. And no doubt to me, walking on a knee that keeps dislocating, barely getting any sleep, not having used any psoriasis shampoo for a month, constantly wanting to itch my scalp, and Yati now stressing me out with her harassment and bullying, so much so that I had trouble figuring out how to eat a few minutes ago, isn’t helping to prevent such attacks.

I am so miserable right now. Saying, “It could be worse,” hardly applies in this situation, because even though it could, my entire life I’ve been going through such hell from narcissists, repeatedly being bullied and sabotaged by them, so it’s not as if I haven’t had a flood of extreme suffering. I have PTSD because of all this.

It’s horrible that these people aren’t kept out of the general population to keep them from wrecking everyone’s lives in various ways. They are life-wreckers, and emotionally destructive, abusers of the mind, relentless bullies. They are everywhere.

4:37 PM: I feel so trapped.


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